Part 2 of 12 · Marriage, Covenant, and Faithfulness
Love Under the Authority of Christ
Read marital responsibilities within the call to follow Jesus.

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”
Ephesians 5:25 KJV
Read the full passages in the KJV
Read Scripture in context
Open each passage to read the complete assigned verses here. The links above also let you read the surrounding chapters.
Ephesians 5:1–2 KJV
1 Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;
2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.
Read in your Bible or open the passage ↗Ephesians 5:18–33 KJV
18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;
20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Read in your Bible or open the passage ↗Colossians 3:12–19 KJV
12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.
15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Read in your Bible or open the passage ↗1 Peter 3:1–9 KJV
1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:
9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.
Read in your Bible or open the passage ↗Acts 5:27–32 KJV
27 And when they had brought them, they set them before the council: and the high priest asked them,
28 Saying, Did not we straitly command you that ye should not teach in this name? and, behold, ye have filled Jerusalem with your doctrine, and intend to bring this man’s blood upon us.
29 Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.
30 The God of our fathers raised up Jesus, whom ye slew and hanged on a tree.
31 Him hath God exalted with his right hand to be a Prince and a Saviour, for to give repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins.
32 And we are his witnesses of these things; and so is also the Holy Ghost, whom God hath given to them that obey him.
Read in your Bible or open the passage ↗Ephesians 4:25–32 KJV
25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.
26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
27 Neither give place to the devil.
28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.
29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Read in your Bible or open the passage ↗Colossians 3:17–25 KJV
17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
22 Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God:
23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.
25 But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.
Read in your Bible or open the passage ↗John 15:1–12 KJV
1 I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.
2 Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.
3 Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.
4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.
5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
6 If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.
7 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.
8 Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.
9 As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.
10 If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love.
11 These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.
12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
Read in your Bible or open the passage ↗1 John 4:7–12 KJV
7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.
10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.
12 No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.
Read in your Bible or open the passage ↗Philippians 2:1–5 KJV
1 If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies,
2 Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.
3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:
Read in your Bible or open the passage ↗Read Ephesians as a call to Christian character
Ephesians 4:25–32 addresses lying, anger, stealing, corrupt speech, bitterness, and malice before chapter 5 discusses marriage. Chapter 5 begins with walking in love after Christ’s example. The household instructions sit inside that larger call to life in Christ. A person cannot reasonably claim to obey the marriage passage while deliberately practicing the conduct the letter commands believers to put away.
Ephesians 5:18–21 connects life filled with the Spirit with worship, gratitude, and submitting to one another in the fear of God. Christians differ about how mutual submission relates to distinct marital roles, but the husband’s instruction is explicit: love after the pattern of Christ’s self giving care. Verses 28–29 speak of nourishing and cherishing. They don’t authorize domination, humiliation, or harm.
Consider both people addressed in 1 Peter
First Peter 3:1–6 addresses wives, including those whose husbands don’t obey the word. Verses 7–9 then require husbands to live with understanding and honor their wives as fellow heirs of life’s grace. The warning about hindered prayers makes a husband’s conduct spiritually serious. The reference to a weaker vessel cannot responsibly become permission to exploit someone’s vulnerability.
Acts 5:27–32 concerns apostles ordered to stop teaching about Jesus. It isn’t a marriage passage. Its principle that obedience to God takes priority helps us reject demands to participate in sin, but applying that principle to a marriage decision still requires examining the passages that govern marriage. A cross reference supports an argument best when we explain both its original setting and its application.
Give to God first, then love freely
I believe the way we hold our service in our heart matters. Before I give my time, encouragement, patience, or care to someone else, I can offer that act to God. Colossians 3:17 calls us to do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus with thanksgiving. Verses 23–24 also call for wholehearted service to the Lord, though their immediate address is to servants. Applying that Godward purpose to marriage belongs alongside the responsibilities Paul gives both spouses, not in place of them.
When I give in that way, love doesn’t have to become a transaction. I’m not buying affection, earning my worth, or keeping a record of what someone owes me for every kindness. I can give freely because that act was first offered to God. Appreciation is a gift we should extend to one another, but someone else’s immediate response does not determine whether my sincere act of love had value.
John 15:1–12 connects abiding in Christ with bearing fruit and loving as he has loved us. First John 4:7–12 roots our love in God’s prior love for us. We aren’t being asked to manufacture an endless supply of love through determination alone. We need prayer, time in Scripture, rest, honest reflection, and the help of other believers as we keep returning to Christ.
This can help guard our heart against resentment, constant scorekeeping, and making another person’s approval the measure of our worth. It does not mean we will never feel hurt, lonely, or disappointed. Even faithful love can be wounded. Bringing that pain to God and speaking honestly about our needs are compatible with loving selflessly.
Philippians 2:1–5 calls us to humility and concern for others. In marriage, both people are called to that posture. Loving without making each kindness conditional on repayment does not mean love, respect, honesty, companionship, and care cease to matter. Those remain responsibilities of the relationship. My willingness to serve God does not release my spouse from the responsibility to love faithfully.
We can choose unconditional goodwill while maintaining truthful boundaries. Love does not have to be earned, but trust can require rebuilding, access can require limits, and reconciliation requires more than one person’s effort. Giving to God first should help us love with a freer heart while continuing to walk in truth.
Read the whole instruction
Ephesians speaks about submission, headship, love, and respect within a wider call to walk in love and be filled with the Spirit. We shouldn’t isolate a spouse’s responsibility while avoiding our own. The husband is commanded to love with Christ’s self giving love and to nourish and cherish his wife.
Christians differ in how they explain the relationship between verse 21 and the instructions that follow. Some emphasize distinct marital roles, while others emphasize shared authority. Neither interpretation gives permission for threats, humiliation, sexual coercion, or violence. Colossians explicitly tells husbands to love their wives and not be bitter against them.
Accountable to the same Lord
First Peter addresses wives whose husbands may not obey the word, then tells husbands to give honor to their wives as fellow heirs of the grace of life. Verse 7 connects a husband’s treatment of his wife with his prayers. Religious participation doesn’t excuse the way someone behaves at home.
Acts 5:29 arises from the apostles’ conflict with religious authorities. Its principle that obedience to God comes first also helps us recognize the limit of every human claim to authority. Applying that principle to marriage means a spouse cannot make wrongdoing righteous by demanding it. Our first allegiance remains to Christ.
Reflect
Sit with the question
- What commands in Ephesians 5 are directed toward the husband?
- How does 1 Peter 3:7 connect spiritual life with conduct at home?
- What would nourishing, cherishing, and honoring look like during a disagreement?
- What changes when I offer an act of love to God before giving it to my spouse?
- How can I love without keeping score while still communicating honestly about our mutual responsibilities?
Practice
Take one faithful step
Choose one instruction directed toward you and identify a specific change it requires. Don’t use the exercise to prepare a list of demands for someone else.
Pray
Bring it before God
Jesus, bring my attitudes and conduct under your authority. Give me humility to receive correction and courage to refuse wrongdoing. Amen.
Truth to carryOur first allegiance remains to Christ.