DAY 15: MONDAY

PEACE DOES NOT MEAN THE STORM IS OVER

“And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.” Mark 4:39 (KJV)

MY PRAYER FOR YOU

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for bringing this man into another week.

You know the waters he is walking through right now. You know which storms have passed, which are beginning to settle, and which ones are still raging around him.

Teach him that Your presence is not measured by the condition of the water.

When circumstances are difficult, keep him from assuming he has somehow wandered outside Your care. When prayers remain unanswered, keep him from believing You are absent. And when the people around him become unsettled, teach him that he does not have to become unsettled with them.

Give him peace deeper than circumstances.

When his child is angry, help him remain the father.

When his wife or girlfriend is upset, help him listen without automatically interpreting her emotions as an attack.

When a coworker is frustrated, keep him from mirroring frustration.

When a family member becomes reactive, teach him that another person's lack of peace does not have to take possession of his.

Your Word says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear...” 1 John 4:18 (KJV). Let Your love make him steady enough to love others well.

And remind him where that love comes from: “We love him, because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19 (KJV)

Make him a man whose presence does not add another storm to the room.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

DEVOTIONAL

There is an important distinction we need to make as Week Three begins.

Peace is not the same thing as peaceful circumstances.

God's presence is not measured by the condition of the water, and the unrest of people around us does not require us to become unsettled with them.

That matters enormously for men who are called to lead.

Mark 4 records Jesus and His disciples in a storm.

The storm was real.

The boat was filling with water.

The disciples were afraid.

Jesus was there.

Those things were true at the same time.

Sometimes Christian men accidentally develop a theology in which peace means nothing difficult should be happening.

So when trouble comes, they immediately ask:

What went wrong?

What did I miss?

How do I fix this?

How do I make everyone calm down?

But sometimes you are exactly where God has called you to be and the water is still rough.

Jesus had told the disciples to cross the sea.

The storm did not prove they had taken the wrong boat.

This matters in marriage.

It matters in fatherhood.

It matters at work.

It matters in ministry.

It matters everywhere you are responsible for how you carry yourself around other people.

Sometimes someone you love will not be peaceful.

Your child may be angry.

Your wife may be hurt.

Your girlfriend may be afraid.

A coworker may be frustrated.

Someone may cry.

Someone may disagree with you.

Someone may be disappointed in a decision you made.

Their emotion is not necessarily evidence that you failed.

And their emotion does not automatically become your emergency.

This is where spiritual leadership becomes practical.

Can you remain present when another person is not okay?

Can you listen without immediately defending?

Can you tolerate another person's disappointment without changing a wise decision simply to make the discomfort stop?

Can you let your child cry after an appropriate boundary without becoming angry because the crying makes you uncomfortable?

Can you let someone tell you they are hurt without immediately explaining why they should not feel that way?

That is part of becoming safe.

James 1:19 says, “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:” (KJV)

Slow.

There is strength in that word.

You do not have to react at the speed of another person's emotion.

You can respond at the speed of wisdom.

Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” (KJV)

A soft answer does not mean you abandon truth.

You can say no softly.

You can disagree calmly.

You can hold a conviction without contempt.

You can enforce a boundary without humiliation.

You can protect someone without becoming vindictive.

You can speak your mind without lashing out.

You can be angry without allowing anger to choose your conduct.

Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be ye angry, and sin not...” (KJV)

The emotion is not automatically the sin.

What you do with it matters.

That applies to the people around you too.

Another person's anger does not automatically make them your enemy.

Another person's fear does not automatically mean you have to rescue them.

Another person's sadness does not mean you failed to make them happy.

Listen.

Discern.

Ask what belongs to you.

If you did something wrong, own it.

If an apology is needed, apologize.

If comfort is needed, comfort.

If protection is needed, protect.

If a boundary is needed, hold it.

If nothing needs to be fixed yet, remain present.

This is one reason 1 John 4:18 matters so much.

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear...” (KJV)

Love creates room where truth can be spoken.

A child should not have to calculate Dad's mood before telling him the truth.

A wife should not have to soften every concern so carefully that her husband will not become defensive.

A girlfriend should not have to manage a man's insecurity before she can speak honestly.

The people who work with you should not have to fear humiliation for admitting a mistake.

Your strength should create greater safety for truth, not greater fear of your reaction.

But understand where that kind of love comes from.

Verse 19 says, “We love him, because he first loved us.”

You are not trying to manufacture perfect patience through sheer willpower.

You receive love from God.

You become secure in Him.

Then you have less need to protect your ego every time another person is upset.

You do not need everyone calm in order for you to remain calm.

You do not need everyone approving of you in order to remain secure.

You do not need every conflict resolved immediately in order to know God is present.

Jesus was in the boat before He calmed the storm.

His presence was not created by the calm.

The calm revealed the authority that had been there all along.

There will be storms you can change.

Change what should be changed.

There will be storms where you need to protect someone.

Protect them.

There will be storms requiring hard conversations.

Have them.

And there will be storms you cannot stop.

In those, learn to stand.

Psalm 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” (KJV)

Not only after trouble.

In trouble.

A man of peace is not a man whose life never becomes turbulent.

He is a man learning where to stand when it does.

TAKE A MOMENT

Think about the people closest to you.

When one of them becomes upset, what happens inside you?

Do you immediately feel responsible?

Defensive?

Angry?

Afraid?

Do you rush to solve?

Withdraw?

Try to make the emotion stop?

Ask whether you know how to remain present with another person's strong emotion without becoming controlled by it.

JOURNAL WITH GOD

What kind of emotional storm is hardest for me to remain steady inside?

When someone is angry with me, what do I immediately assume?

Do I interpret another person's disappointment as evidence that I have done something wrong?

Can my children tell me difficult things without fearing my first reaction?

Can someone I love disagree with me without my convictions turning into defensiveness?

Do I know how to listen to an emotion without immediately trying to fix it?

When I am right, can I remain gentle?

When I am wrong, can I repent without protecting my pride?

What does it mean for my strength to create safety rather than fear?

How would receiving God's love more deeply change the way I respond to the emotions of others?

YOUR TIME WITH GOD

Today, read Mark 4:35–41, Psalm 46:1–3, Proverbs 15:1, James 1:19–20, Ephesians 4:26–32, and 1 John 4:18–19.

Then think about one relationship where another person's emotions tend to affect yours quickly.

Ask God:

What am I afraid of when this person becomes upset?

What do I take personally?

What actually belongs to me?

What would love require?

What would truth require?

What would wisdom require?

Then practice something different.

Do not match intensity with intensity.

Listen.

Slow your voice.

Ask a question before making an assumption.

If you disagree, say so without attacking.

If you need time, communicate that and return.

If you were wrong, apologize.

If your boundary remains right, hold it without punishing the other person for disliking it.

You are not responsible for making every storm stop.

You are responsible for the kind of man you become while standing in it.

Let Christ become your peace before the water becomes calm.