As I finished writing The Heart of Becoming, I kept coming back to one simple thought: If becoming more like Christ is not about trying harder, then what does it actually look like when we are abiding in Him?

I believe Scripture answers that question with the fruit of the Spirit. Not as a checklist of qualities we are supposed to manufacture, but as evidence that Christ is doing a work within us.

The first fruit is love. One of the greatest things God has been teaching me is that love is not something I can manufacture. I can act loving for a while. I can be patient when life is easy and kind when people are kind to me. But real, lasting, Christlike love is something God grows in me as I remain close to Him.

For a long time, I thought loving others meant always having the right words, always knowing what to say, and always making everyone happy. But that is not biblical love.

Love is not about perfection. It is about presence. It is choosing to see people the way Christ sees them, listening before speaking, extending grace without abandoning truth, and being willing to sacrifice my own comfort for someone else’s good.

Jesus did not simply tell us to love. He showed us. He washed the feet of disciples who would soon abandon Him. He welcomed the broken. He corrected with compassion. He forgave those who crucified Him. He loved without lowering God’s standard of truth.

We do not love first so God will love us. We love because we have already experienced His love. The more deeply I understand His love for me, the more naturally that love begins overflowing into every relationship.

Love changes the way we parent, speak, handle conflict, forgive, and see people. Love is not always soft. Sometimes it has difficult conversations, sets healthy boundaries, and says, ‘I care too much about you to leave you where you are.’

Jesus was full of grace and truth, never one without the other. That is the kind of love I want reflected in my life. Not perfectly, but increasingly, as I continue abiding in Him.

The fruit of the Spirit is not proof of how hard we are trying. It is evidence of how closely we are walking with Jesus.